Greetings - Not really new but may as well be


New Member

It appears that some already know who I am and at the very least a couple of people know at least part of my situation.
Some time ago I had a pretty bad head/brain injury. I have some holes in my memory among other things that I would like to refill or recover. Recently I was directed to go through some of my old stuff with the intent that it may help me, the idea being that the mental discipline would go a long way. What I came across were books and tons of notes regarding RV and related material. So I have been reading through all of it as I can. Some of it is coming back to me, but a lot of it remains elusive. Eric (who I didn't remember until LD mentioned him) and LD have helped trigger some things, but it appears they don't know a whole lot about my original methods which appear to be pretty unconventional. I have notes about a manual of sorts that I was working on but I have no idea where it is or if it even exists now. There were a couple people that appear in my notes that may have been able to help and in trying to track them down I found out one is dead and the other has not responded.

Anyways, today I went into the dojo mostly to keep myself occupied but also out of curiosity (otherwise I am sitting in the dark with a cold towel on my head). It's actually kind of fun and keeps my mind off of all the crap going on around me. It appears I can still make target contact, but my focus and attention are way down (TBI remember). There is this awareness though that I am not doing things the way I should be, or that I used to. My notes and copies of old sessions confirm this. I have read through all of my old posts looking for clues, but I am not finding a lot other than some mention of "downbuilding" being an important part of my original process. Anyone have any idea what I meant by that? It had something to do with what I was doing with the data.

Another issue I seem to be having is distraction by entities or elements, ghosts, spirits or whatever. I saw notes on sessions I have done where this was an issue, but nothing in the notes about how I dealt with it. I also understand that it may just be the TBI but I don't think it is. I guess it is possible that the TBI could have opened a door or triggered something though.

So, I am looking for two things right now. Anyone who can possibly shed some light on what I was doing before (it appears that I did explain it to people), and how to deal with the issue of entities coming into my sessions.