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#163 

Date: Thu Jul 18, ?00? 1?:06 am
Subject: Archmed: Fear of Psi 	dennanm



I decided to do an archetype meditation on 'fear of psi'.

While I've never felt this is much of an issue for me, some
psychologists, such as Dr. Charles T. Tart, feel that fear of psi is
a culturally common thing, much moreso than we realize, so I figured,
it could not hurt to give it a try.

I was using a hemi-sync CD, focus 1? freeflow, which I put on
repeat.  I first spent some time just getting in a nicely altered
state.  I feel much more in touch with my 'emotional body' in F1? and
I tend to feel emotions and such very _physically_, so it is really
good for these meds.

I asked my guide for the archetype of My Fear of Psi.  I rather
figured this would be a fairly quick meditation, but who knows, maybe
useful in some way.

The arch was humanoid.  I turned to look at him and nearly
hyperventilated as I put my hands on my chest. I couldn't see him
well.  He was covered with the symbol of fear, a "spiders in the
gooey dark" kind of concept.  The fear literally gripped me.  My
heart beat fast. I found myself distracted by other thoughts. Every
time I brought myself back and tried to focus on the arch, I started
breathing fast and hard again.  I could feel the fear physically in
my chest, a powerful force.

I was thinking to myself, my god!  Dr. Tart probably didn't realize
it was THIS big a deal, sheesh!  And I was really surprised because I
honestly didn't think this would be any big deal for me, and yet,
this arch felt like one of the few very "core" archs have with me --
very powerful.

I realized I couldn't do it alone.  I reacted too physically to it.
So I called in my Sun -- he is my love, my energy, he works with me
in a lot of archmeds, either merging with me or just being with me,
or once in awhile I have certain archs hold hands with each other or
something to share energies between two concepts.  I also called
in 'responsibility'. This is not the right word in english, use
the 'true will/dharma' meaning of it, not the surface 'obligation'
meaning. That arch is humanoid but not human, sort of the ultimate
warrior, a strong man with golden eyes like a tiger and quills like a
porcupine that normally lie flat on his skin.  I had a profound,
really physical, really oddly sexual meditation with him when I was
at TMI (I was ignoring the tape and doing a med instead? ), that was so
incredible, I felt as if he were physically inside my skin and any
psychic looking at me might actually see HIM instead of me. He is
very powerful and I wanted him to protect me.  So with the two of
them there with me, I finally had the courage to face the 'fear of
psi' archetype.

First things first.  I'm a clean freak when it comes to archetypes.
Any sign of dirt, dust, bugs, etc. is a sign that I have a problem
with the arch. (Dust usually indicates it's something I have buried
for a long time in myself.  Dirt that it is something I have
denigrated in myself.  Bugs/gross stuff usually indicates it is
something I have real fear about. These are fairly repetitive symbols
I've learned.? )  So first I had to clean him off.  It was so thick and
icky that I had to stand way back (hyperventilating a bit still? ), and
imagine the 'water of life' in a sort of high pressure hose like the
car wash, LOL.  I cleaned him from head to toe in a about 6 detailed
sprays.  Then I surveyed him.  He was still gross.  I sensed that
everything - his ear canals down to his neck, his digestive system
all the way through, everything, had that horrible stuff.  So I had
to clean him out completely on the inside, too.  (Sometimes such meds
are quite physiological.  You gotta be as objective as a doctor about
it.? )

The fear in my body lessened in my chest, and seemed to 'recede' from
the chest, and then could be felt between the heart and solar plexus
area.

(Note: when doing such things, imagine the arch is standing on a
thick grate, and the gross stuff falls into it, is liquified, and is
put in the 'waste disposal system' of that world.  This is important
because it seems from experience that these meditations often cleanse
the physiological body of the meditator (as well as perhaps the
energy body, if you wanna get metaphysical about it? ).  Literally it
can flush a lot of toxins.  You don't want them just in your system
or it'll be like doing a cleansing diet without taking appropriate
herbs or liquids to wash it out, you'll have a good med and wake up
with a body-aching flu.  Use that symbology and your body will dump
such things in the normal body waste disposal systems.? )

When that was done I surveyed him once again.  I was still too afraid
to get super near him frankly, but felt a little better.  I decided I
still sensed a strong darkness throughout him, and he needed a chakra
cleansing in a big way. (For those clueless, chakras are the
hypothesized 'energy vortexes' throughout the body; there are a
number of 'major' ones, the number and color and some placement
depends on the tradition.? )  So I had Sun help me and we gradually
cleaned him out energetically too.  Really ICKY! he was.  Yuck.
Anyway, so finally he was pretty clean.

The 'fear' in my body had faded further, though it still existed, and
had continued moving down to my solar plexus and a little below.

I had to get fairly close to him to do the crown chakra. I was able
to, but still not comfortable.  When it was over, I knew there was a
lot more work to do, and told him that, but I'd done what I could for
the time.  We traded some symbols in the body.  That was that.  I
will have to work a lot more with him as we are nowhere near the
point of a good merge.

The intriguing thing to me was that "fear of psi," which I didn't
think would be any big deal with me really, turned out to be such
a "core" issue and so profoundly fearful.  I am still kind of amazed
about that.  I mean, I've been 'into' the RV field for a long time,
and wouldn't suspect that I personally have 'fear' about it.  Yet,
these meditations are usually extremely accurate about what is inside
oneself, so I have to believe it must be so.

I am hoping that over time, my working with this archetype will
resolve any issues in my RV that such deep, hidden issues might be
affecting.

Regards,

PJ